So if you need a super simple, super cheap option for keeping your puppets vertical and clean, go pick up a cheap toilet plunger!

This has been working very well. First, I’m accomplishing something on a day that that otherwise wouldn’t allow me to. It allows me plenty of time to collect props, object lessons and recruit actors and even give away parts of the sermon to up-and-coming future children’s pastors in my volunteer staff. It also frees up the entire rest of your week to focus on other non-service stuff like policy, organization, brochures and (God forbid) planning.

I highly suggest doing service prep as early in the week as possible. It’s a little tough to want to jump into the next week just after getting done with a Sunday… but the payoff is worth it. The only negative I’ve found, if it can even be called negative, is that I find that I’ve got to add a couple of review times to my week so that I can keep the content fresh in my mind. The balance of it is that I’m giving more thought to the topic and scriptures over all then when I started on Thursday.

When do you do service prep? Do you have any tips to share? Add them to the comments!

I call these happenings “Full-Moon Sundays” because I’ve had friends who are nurses tell me that every full moon all kinds of crazy things start going down at the hospitals. Tons of extra babies are born and lots or weird injuries come walking into the emergency rooms. There seems to be no other explanation other than the phase of the moon. So when I have a weird Sunday where everything goes right but the kids, I have to blame something… so I blame the moon. I know the moon has no inherent power. I know it’s not really its fault. But it gets the blame anyway. As Milli Vanilli once said, “You gotta blame it on something”.

I don’t know that I have any advice or tips for this particular situation. I mostly just want to know if anyone else experiences this and if you do that you’re not alone. Here are a few thoughts on Full-Moon Sundays.

1. Don’t take it personally. If you were properly prepared you can’t blame yourself.

2. Don’t change anything. You’ll be tempted to rewrite policy or at very least change your program. Don’t ever make a permanent decision to fix a temporary problem.

3. Put your head  down and charge through. Honestly, I believe the more potential your service has to change a life, the more your enemy will attempt to cause problems in your service. So don’t quit! Keep speaking, keep following that schedule! Sure, be open to what God may want to do, but don’t make a change based on how you feel in the moment.

Am I the only one who has “Full-Moon Sundays”? Maybe so. Either way I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Both your experiences and tips for dealing and getting through are welcomed.

Visit Miss. Pattycake online at http://www.misspattycake.com

Number 1 on the list is communication.

1. Lack of communication — If people don’t know what’s happening in your ministry they assume nothing of consequence is happening. Refuse to communicate, and your children’s ministry will never be a priority to the church and community. People vital to your ministry need to know what’s going on in order to support the work. If they don’t know about it, they can’t support it.

Talk about your ministry with your pastor, other staff members, volunteers, parents, the community and children. Promote your ministry in church publications, community advertising, and best yet, word of mouth from satisfied participants.

If I had an 11 or 12 to add they would be:

11. Lack of Personal Spiritual Growth – It can be easy to get disconnected from the “Big Church” and miss the worship, sermons and fellowship that nurture and grow most Christians. It’s also easy to fall into the habit of only reading the Bible and studying in order to create lessons and sermons for ministry. Make sure some of it is just for you! Make time in your schedule to go to an Adult Service at least once a month.

12. A Bad Attitude – Children’s Ministers are often tempted to be huge complainers. Often they’re under the impression they’re just being visionary… but vision needs to be balanced with being completely grateful and content with the resources God has given you already. There’s a spiritual principal here… if you’re faithful over the little (even a little budget or a little team), God will make you master over much.

Read the article here: 10 Things That Can Ruin Your Children’s Ministry

I don’t do the big giveaways… and here’s why:

1. They cost a lot.
2. They only bless one or two kids.
3. They make the rest of the kids sad, upset, disappointed, jealous or even hateful.

Kids don’t deal well with the concept of Random. They get it in theory… they just don’t like it. It works fine for the randomly chosen winner of said prize… but to the rest of your group Random suddenly turns into just being Unfair! Remember how that felt when you were a kid? It felt Unfair!

What I suggest instead of a big prize drawing is a prize that everyone gets or must be earned. I don’t mind telling a kid that someone else got a prize because they said last week’s bible verse… because I can transform their disappointment into determination. I tell that child that they could get the same thing next week if they say their verses too.

Here are some examples. In an outreach situation, rather than a flier that tells of an iPod that will be given away at the event… what about saying that every child that comes out will get a bag of sour Skittles and a cold soda… plus a special prize at the end of service! Every child wins! And you’ve probably spent less on the candy and soda than the iPod!

For a special event at church you could have a prize for new visitors… and the kid who brought them! Every child has a chance to ‘win’ this prize… and any kid who doesn’t bring a friend that week could do so the next for a second chance.

Just a bit of thinking from a child’s perspective will help guide you when planning your next promotion in children’s church or sunday school. Here are a few of my guiding principals.

1. Prizes shouldn’t be so big that it breaks the hearts of those who don’t win… but still good enough to work hard for.
2. Every child has a controllable chance to win the prize. If they don’t win it’s because they didn’t earn it.
3. All of the prizes are always the same per event. That way children aren’t comparing what others got over (or under) themselves.

Some would argue that it’s important that kids learn self-control and good sportsmanship… and I would agree. But I would also argue that we don’t need to create situations that put kids in needlessly difficult situations. I don’t know about you but I want my visitors leaving my service happy!

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.

Jenna and I have been doing little shows here and there over the past couple of years called JennaCasts… but they were just bonus shows added to the Geek Loves Nerd podcast feed. Recently we’ve decided to split off and combine my daughter’s love of talking with my desire to produce a podcast for children.

Podcast Kid is a podcast for kids that focuses on topics that matter to kids ages 3-8. It’s a weekly half-hour show that features conversations, advice, silly songs and stories from Jenna, her Dad and Mom and a silly clown called JoJo.

Go check out Podcast Kid and if you like it, share it with some kids you know!

This episode also features an amazing interview with The Lads, an amazing rock group from New Zealand focusing on tweens and family ministry.

Sponsor: DrawYouAPicture.com – for ministry logos as low as $65 bucks!

Resource of the month: Crazy and creative one-minute games from the show Minute To Win It.

I fall on the new school side of things for the most part. I believe a good teacher will be respected when they give respect, love, acceptance, guidance and useful content. It’s basically the whole, “You can’t make a withdrawal until you’ve made a deposit” thing. But it only works with children who have a typical or ‘normal’ response to a proper teacher/child relationship.

The typical response is of course, respect. Depending on the age you may also get hero-status or even complete enthrallment (pre-school). For some children, however, your kindness is seen as weakness, a vulnerability to be taken advantage of. This is the case most typically with undisciplined children. They may see all adults as their servants, same as they do their parents. Teachers therefore become just another grown-up that is supposed to entertain them, give them treats, and cater to their whims. So kindness and caring are misinterpreted… expected and unappreciated. Any expectations you have are simply suggestions and are ignorable… unless you find the balance between earning respect and demanding it.

For the most part, it’s the child himself who can help you find it. If earning isn’t working, it’s naturally time to move into demanding. But how do we do that without being a tyrant? Is it even possible? I believe in cases where earning isn’t working, demanding is the only alternative. But how?

I’m a Teacher. I give respect, I deserve it in return.

I naturally give proper respect to the students I minister to. I do not mock them. I am not mean to them. I greet them warmly and am polite to them. I am also kind and considerate when a child is in a bad mood, is un-churched, a visitor, or has special needs. These children need extra compassion. But even though I serve these children and their families, I am not their servant. I do not deserve to be mocked, made to feel stupid or unappreciated. The respect I give not only serves to show Christ’s love, but to also be an example to follow.

I defend the Golden Rule… even in reverse.

The Rule: Treat others how you want them to treat you. I wholeheartedly believe in this rule and will defend it. I will treat others how I want them to treat me AND you will treat me how I treat you. At least that will be my goal for you if you’re in my ministry. Not just because I deserve to be treated right. But because it will help you be more like Christ. Therefore it is a part of proper discipleship.

I understand that they must respect me to be led by me.

Why all this talk about respect? Why do I sound like a 67 year old football coach? Because I believe mutual respect is important. I can’t teach kids I don’t think are worth my time. And likewise kids won’t learn from someone they don’t think is worth listening to. If they don’t respect you, they won’t care what you have to say.

I earn and demand respect.

So I’m a little bit old school and a little bit new school. I understand it’s important to be someone worthy of respect. It’s important to pour into a life before you can expect anything from it… but when all that fails… it becomes a discipline issue. Discipline issues are handled like any other bad behavior, by discouraging it and providing benefits for the alternative. So in my kid’s church your son or daughter may find themselves in time out for smarting off… and if they keep it up… they’ll be sitting in church with you for a few weeks. When they’re ready to be respectful, they get to enjoy all of the perks that children’s ministry has to offer.

Start with this one, 2, 3, end here.

Check it out and add your thoughts in the comments below.

My wife and I bought 60 heart-shaped boxes of mixed chocolates from Sam’s Club in anticipation of at least 30 visitors. Statistically I could only expect 10 as you typically get a 1% response and I’d passed out 1000 invites… but faith and hope have to fit in there somewhere right?

Fast-forward to the end of our Valentine’s day service and we’d given away 10 boxes of chocolate. Five to visitors and five to the kids who brought them. I can’t say I was devastated… but I was defiantly disappointed. As we geek-types say, “FAIL!”.

The next morning during devotions I was journaling about the whole thing. I wrote up how hopeful I had been… and how stupid I felt wasting the church’s money buying way to much candy. Then God slapped me in the head. He does that.

I wrote down the thought that suddenly entered my head:

“When you’re disappointed, you forget to be thankful”.

He was right… I was so focused on what I had wanted to accomplish for the Kingdom I was totally overlooking what God had actually accomplished. Five children had experienced a church service for maybe the first time. I also remembered that one of the visitors had been accompanied by their entire family! A whole family had come to church because of a Valentine’s day card… and I had not once thought to give praise to God for any of this… because I had wanted to do more. Naturally I spent the rest of the devotion time in praise. One child is precious to God… five ain’t nothing to turn your nose up at in His Kingdom.

It’s easy to get disappointed in Children’s ministry. I’ve probably spent more time in the last 10 years being disappointed that any other feeling. Disappointed about attendance, volunteer commitment, pastoral support, storage, how many folks join the choir… on and on. My heart has been in the right place for most of the time: I just wanted to do more for God! If I had more resources, if I had more volunteers, if I had more support… how much more effective could this ministry be? But I’ve very recently realized that disappointment keeps me from being thankful for what I have and for how God is using it.

I still set goals. I still have high hopes… but from now on, no matter how things turn out… I will remember to be thankful and give praise to God. If I believe that he is in control and that he is good… I have to believe that he knew how things would turn out… and that he had some hand in the results. My disappointment tells God I’m not happy with his work. Well, not anymore.

This Month’s Resource:

Spiral Wishing Wells for pre-school offering: http://www.spiralwishingwells.com/toy

Call or email in your feedback: cmmonthly@gmail.com or (218)MONTHLY (666-8459).

What’s the main difference between regular cereal and generic. The packaging. I know kids say they can tell the difference… just like we adults swear we can taste the difference between tap water and bottled water… but in reality it’s the way the cereal is packaged that makes it more exciting.

I believe packaging is important in children’s ministry as well… especially to those of us who don’t have a lot of money and resources. We can’t all print every flier in full color and our check-in stations may never look like a children’s museum lobby, but there are several things we can all do to improve the packaging of our children’s ministry. Doing so will excite the children, volunteers and the parents we serve.

1. Laminate Signs

For some reason when I laminate a piece of paper, people pay more attention to it than when I just print and stick.

2. Pre-Printed Paper for Fliers

Even if you can’t print in color, you can buy paper with pre-printed backgrounds… or even better use a high-volume, low-cost print shop and have a whole mess of custom printed paper to make fliers and handouts on.

3. A Great Logo

It may cost a little money, but getting a great quality logo is a great way to package your ministry. I happen to do low-cost, high-quality logos over at DrawYouAPicture.com. Most of the time ministry logos only cost $65 and I’ve yet to charge more than $99 for a single logo.

4. Dress Up For Church

I know most of we children’s ministers don’t like church clothes but dressing ourselves up is probably the easiest way to dress up our own ministry. People outside of kids church never see your ministry… but they do see you.

5. Keep Classroom Decorations Fresh

Every church classroom I’ve ever seen has had old stuff on the walls. It’s been up so long that no one even sees it anymore. Same with bulletin boards. It costs little to nothing to keep these things current. You just throw out the old stuff and put up the new. And when you do put it up, put it up straight, centered, and without visible tape or staples. Thumbtacks still look good, but double sided tape looks even better!

6. Clean Storage Areas

Your pastor hates your storage room. It bothers him. It bothers you… but you’re used to it. It would bother your parents if they saw it. Clean it up… or at least get it organized. Same with classroom cabinets, drawers and countertops. Old curriculum, handouts, copies, old cookies… they all need to be given away or thrown away.

7. Clear Copies

This is a pet peeve so bear with me here. I hate it when I can see page numbers, curriculum titles, and copied hole punch holes on handouts. I want my copies to look first generation. A little whiteout goes a long way in improving the look of your copies. You can even keep a strip of paper on hand to place over the holes on punched originals. And for the love of all that is holy, make sure your copies are square to the paper.

Packaging isn’t the most important part of children’s ministry… but it is an important part. When you take pride in the little things the side-effect is that others will respect what you do more. Plus God seems to bless folks who are faithful in the little things.

The idea was to create an interactive object lesson. I wanted the folks praying to 1) get a feel for what we do and 2) open their minds as to what children’s ministry is about.

The concept of using a garden came almost instantly. I knew I wanted to have the people plant a seed in the ground as an example of the seeds of God’s Word that are planted each week in the children’s department.

I tend to think of the programs we provide in four groups: Mentoring, Foundational, Life Application and Godly Care, so I created four rows of plants, each with their own “seed pack” which illustrated this.

I quickly decided that having flower pots was going to work better than just having a bunch of dirt on a table. It might not be clear that it’s supposed to be a garden and I didn’t know how I was going to keep the dirt contained without a large (ugly) pan of some sort.

A quick trip to Home Depot and I had 16 flower pots, 12 perennials, 3 packages of seed, one small pot (to hold the seed), one section of border fence, 4 paint stirrers, cheap gloves, a watering can and some potting soil.

To create the “seed packets” I turned to Google images for inspiration. I took the best elements from several designs and created what you see above in Photoshop. I printed them out on a color printer and cut, folded and pasted them to look just like the real thing (including a little flap at the top). I cut a slot in the top and bottom of each and fed through a paint stick and stuck each into one of the flower pots.

Each of the flowers were transplanted into one of the pots to give it that “just planted” look. The four remaining pots were filled with potting soil and put at the front of each row for planting the seeds. The fence section was simply screwed into the back of a 4-foot plastic table. The green plastic sheeting was a round tablecloth we found in a closet. The seeds were placed in a cute little pot.

Lastly we added the watering can, the gloves (with fresh dirt applied), prayer need cards and a tent-fold card with instructions on how to use the station.

Everyone loved the display. It was a hit with my leaders and the folks who came out to pray. Someone even tried to water the seed they planted (no water in the can). They were really into it I guess.

The instruction card said: Each week we plant the seeds of God’s word into the lives of your children. Take a seed and imagine it is a spiritual truth to be taught to a child. Prayerfully plant the seed in the soil and pray that His Word will grow and be fruitful in the lives of our children.

Pastor even let me come up to explain the inspiration behind the the meaning of each element in the display. It was truly a blessing.

Currently the display is waiting in the children’s church room for Sunday. I’m going to have the kids file past and plant a seed of their own and pray that God’s Word will grow in their own hearts.

I hope this has been an inspiration to you. Feel free to rip it off completely! Just let me know how it turns out! If you have any questions you can email me.

He has a book out I want as well.

[Thanks Godbout for the link!]

More kids are getting mobile phones: Last year, more than 35% of U.S. children ages 10-11 had cellphones, almost double the amount in 2005, according to Mediamark data, via eMarketer. And more than 5% of 6-7-year-olds had cellphones last year.

That leaves the 8-9-year-olds in the 20% bracket. When will we have to add “Turn off your phones” to the Children’s Church rules? Have you already?

[via Gizmodo]

I can count on more than two hands how many times I’ve had disgruntled volunteers express to me their desire to involve more parents in their ministry or program. Though I do agree that it seems few parents take the same interest in their children’s spiritual lives as they do their extracurricular lives, I do take issue with this complaint. I rarely see a true desire for parental involvement but rather volunteers who are either desperate for help or who are struggling and angry and want ‘pay-backs’.

Maybe I’m a bit to stuck on principal but I think motive makes a huge difference here. I’m not interested in recruiting parents only to place them with volunteers who have agendas or misguided expectations. I’m not going to set up my new recruits to be a scapegoat for some imagined wrong.

To a point I understand the view some ministers get of the parents they serve. We struggle with their kids while they get to go to service. We watch them socialize in the hall while we wait to go home because they haven’t picked up their child. It’s easy to start thinking that things would be different if they were on our side of the fence. Parents would get a taste of their own medicine so to speak. Plus, we need more help anyway… it’s a perfect fit, right?

Parents can’t be both our enemy and our salvation.

(selah)

They are neither. We have a enemy. We have a Savior. We wage war against one (not flesh and blood) and we pray to the other (to send laborers). It’s not fair or in any way right to recruit parents under the curse of the former and the burden of the latter. When we as ministers, leaders and volunteers realize who our true enemy is and where our help comes from, then we are ready to welcome parental involvement with open arms.

But is it enough to simply involve them? (More on that in later posts.)

In the mean time… what is your experience? Have you ever been cornered by an eager volunteer with the “perfect solution” to your worker shortage? Have you yourself ever struggled with “hating-on” parents? Leave your thoughts and feedback in the comments.

James shares a inspirational story that shows that God uses everything we submit to him and do as unto him for our good and his glory.

The Flashlight House – From Nasty To Move-in Ready In Just One Month

Nativity Story: The Very Last Room

Imagine if you were the family who took the very last room in Bethlehem… and had to watch Mary being led around back to a stable. That’s the premise of this original Christmas story.

If you don’t get it… you need to watch this.

Update: Credit to Les aka @hstrykid via Twitter for the find.

1. I’m big on being prepared.

Everything should be finished and ready to go before Sunday morning. 90% of frustration alleviation is preparation!

2. I’m big on timeliness.

Each volunteer depends on the others to be at their post on time to serve their role. Parents and Sunday School Teachers depend on us to open the doors promptly. Starting service on time adds predictability which is important to children when establishing order.

3. I’m big on smooth transitions.

I hate downtime. Volunteers who are doing a part of the service should keep their eyes on their schedule and skip ahead. If their segment is coming up, they should be ready (with their team if they have one) and pass me on the steps going up while I’m coming down.

4. I’m not big on unplanned interruptions.

If someone needs the microphone during the service… they need to have asked for it before… or while I’m not on the stage.

5. I’m big on discipline.

I want us to enjoy our time with the kids… and them with us. The way to do that is to maintain an understanding of mutual respect between ourselves and them.

6. I’m big on giving away segments.

I’m not interested in my children’s church becoming the “Pastor James Show”. If there is a leader who would like to assist by taking a segment here and there… or even every week… they only need tell me. Pretty much anything short of the teaching and altar time is available.

Three weeks already? Has it really been that long? It’s been crazy busy. Not really the work… but learning how to work in a new environment. Nearly everything is new and what isn’t new is done differently. Procedures I learned from one place have really messed me up on this end of things (I pressed 4 to delete a voicemail… should have pressed 2).

Things are wonderful, don’t get me wrong… but rather than talk about the awesome stuff, I’d like to hash out a few things I’ve already learned about starting a new position (aka, things I messed up).

1. Don’t Get Friendly Too Quickly

Wherever you go, there will be people in each church who are similar. Just because knew one of them very well in your old church doesn’t mean that relationship transfers to the new person. One week is way too soon to be making ‘Yo Mama’ jokes.

2. Don’t Snap Judge Anything

When you move positions, you carry along your experiences. Most of those will come in very handy and help you bypass a whole lot of mess. On the other hand, some of it will cause you to assume certain things that were true in your old place to hold true in the new. This is not necessarily the case. Kid flag teams are not always the cheese.

3. Don’t Talk Non-Stop About Your Old Church

Nobody cares what they did there… how hot or cold it was… how good or bad it was. You may have been there for a decade… but God has moved you forward and upward. It’s time to leave those things behind you and press on to the goal that God has for you. That being said however, at my old church… we did a lot of cool stuff.

4. Watch Those First Impressions

The first time people see you they will make a snapshot of you for their future reference. They will choose how they speak to you and what they say based on that snapshot. Make sure you present your true self even if you’re not at all impressed with it. You cannot maintain an image for any long period of time anyway. If you don’t speak in a southern accent normally, it’s not a good idea to adopt one just because you moved South.

I’m all about getting any advice from any of you readers who have made a move such as mine. Any tips you would add? What mistakes have you made? What did you learn? Drop them in the comments.

1. Pastors

Thank God for Senior Pastors. Where would we be without them? Jobless that’s what. Love um or want to strangle them… be thankful for them. Your anointing filters through his office after all.

2. Volunteers

I know we never have enough… but remember to be thankful for those you have!

3. Parents

Where would we be without parents? We’d be preaching to an empty room! Our job is to support and educate them as they raise up their children in the way they should go. No, they’re not all doing it… but thank God for them all anyway.

4. Children

Every one of these little guys is a gift from God. The fact that we have the honor, privilege and responsibility of ministering to them is huge. Thank God for the simple trust they place in us.

5. Resources

Thank God for the Internet and CMConnect.org.

6. Facilities

Maybe you’re meeting in an old choir closet… but be thankful. Just one missions trip will be enough to make you thankful for anything with a roof, floor and air conditioning. Someone will always have it better… and someone will always have it worse.

7. The Call

God called you to minister to his kids. That Call will keep you going when almost nothing else can.

8. Peers

There are others doing what you do… and most of them are more than willing to share what they know… and need the experiences you have gleaned.

9. Mentors

Those who have them, you know why you should be thankful. Those who don’t have one or more… hurry up and get one so you can be thankful too.

10. Spouses

For almost every children’s minister out there, there is a supportive (or at least tolerant) spouse. Thank God for those who help us (or at least allow us) to do what we do.

What are you thankful for in Children’s Ministry?

When I first started full-time Children’s Ministry, I had a pretty narrow view of what children’s ministry was. In my mind it was all about the Children’s Church service. Sure, I had other programs I was over (Rangers, Missionettes, JBQ, etc.) but they were just the side show to my three-ringed circus. Therefore when it came time to name my department, I naturally went with the name of the kids church. JAM City became JAM City Children’s Ministries.

Not a big deal right? Maybe not, but I soon realized that without intending too, I had set the ministry I was directly involved in as the most important program in the department… and the cost of demeaning the role of the other groups. It took me a couple of years to realize this fact… and for the feelings of my program leaders to get to me. They felt that all I cared about was “my” ministry… and everyone else got whatever was left over. This was my wake up call.

I needed a way to quickly get the point across that things were going to be changing. So along with making myself more available and getting more involved, I made another small change that made a big difference. I renamed the Children’s Department. JAM City Children’s Ministries became The Kids Life Department. I kept JAM City name for kids church only. What did this do? It was a neutral name that showed no preference to any particular program, and it equalized all of the ministries. After all, each program fulfills an equally important role in the spiritual development support we provide to our families.

• Sunday School provides the raw materials.
• Children’s Church is about fellowship and life application.
• Mid-Week Programs are typically about mentoring and teamwork.

The renaming didn’t work miracles… but it was the first step in a process. Now that I’m in a new position, I’m going to be changing the name again. Kid’s City Children’s Ministries will become Suncoast Kids Department, the first step in unifying our volunteer staff and leaders and letting them know that they are valuable and valued.

I met my new church today. I was a little worried to be honest. Here I’d moved my family halfway across the country from Kansas City to St. Pete, Florida to work as the Children’s Pastor for a church I’d never even been to. I say I was worried… but honestly, I wasn’t. Two reasons:

1. God has worked out so much and made this move so obviously a part of His will I knew this would be no different.

2. The leadership of this church is what attracted me here. They could have been handling snakes and I would have been okay. (That last part is a lie… but almost not.)

After service there was a Children’s Ministry luncheon prepared to introduce me to the lay staff. I shook a lot of hands, met a lot of great folks and forgot a whole mess of names… though I do recall that two girls who were named after Disney Princesses and a dude named Nathan with a very happy Dad.

I wasn’t prepared to say anything… but I was asked and so I walked to the front. I didn’t feel like telling them about where I had worked, how hardcore it was, how many folks I’d had working with me or any of that. The things that were burning in my heart to share were…

1. This ministry does not need me to fix it.

It’s a healthy ministry where kids are growing and being taken care of. I’m not here to fix something that’s broken, but rather to nurture and direct the growth that is already happening.

2. I can tell instantly that you are good people with great hearts.

I don’t usually talk like this… but there was a healthy, family, friendly spirit in the room. I’m sure I’ll bump heads with someone in there eventually… but they seemed eager to accept my family and hit the road running!

3. I want to honor the work you’ve all done by learning what you do.

These folks have recently said goodbye to a CP and then held down the fort for at least nine weeks waiting for us to arrive. I’m not going to barge in and ignore the hard work they’ve put in. I’m sure we won’t be doing it exactly the same 3-6 months from now… but I’ll bet I’ll enjoy the things they do as much as they enjoy the tricks I have up my sleeve.

All in all… it was a fantastic day. (Except for the part where I told the staff that I had prepared a rap for them.) It was cool seeing the church as just another person before I have to go in and be Pastor James. It allowed me to see things from a first-timer’s perspective (which is a very hard thing to do later on) and let me experience the worship service without pressure.

Tomorrow morning I start my first week in the office. Woo hoo!

God has called my family and myself to a Children and Family ministry position in Florida from Kansas City. This month’s CMMonthly is my farewell sermon delivered in just under 10 minutes. Ten things I learned from 10 years of ministry at Sheffield.

I have been at Sheffield Family Life Center in Kansas City, Missouri for the past 10 years. Two of those were as an intern, but the past 8 years I have been involved in full time ministry for youth and children.

November 8th, 2009 will mark my last Sunday at Sheffield. I have taken a position at a church in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Why the move? Family mostly. Jenn and I have felt a ‘stirring’ for a while now. I’ve even told folks I felt like a major life change was coming… but didn’t have a clue what it would be. Jenn and I finally decided to sit town and ask God what the deal was. We started with putting together a 5 year plan for our family. I asked Jennifer where she saw us in 5 years… the first thing out of her mouth was, “I want to raise our children around family”.

I guess I had known that she had a leaning toward her folks. There had been quite a bit of travel back and forth since the kids had shown up. But this was the first time she’d just laid it out.

We prayed about it, wrote out our list, and told God that though we were making plans, it was His that we truly wanted. God rarely speaks to me directly… so we committed to two things:

We’re Moving Slow – We gave God plenty of time to let us know if we were moving the right direction. We literally prayed, “God we ask for brick walls if we’re moving the wrong way… but we look forward to mile markers of conformation if we’re headed the right way.”

We’re not going to make any decisions that we’re not willing to unmake in an instant – Though we make our own plans… we do not put our trust in our own decisions. At any point in this journey that God leads differently, we’re ready to change direction in a moment.

There were a couple of brick walls. They typically hurt when you hit them… but if you’re moving slow… not so much. Eventually after every networking resource I had in Georgia, North Carolina and Florida dried up… I got an email from a Pastor in St. Petersburg. We talked, really hit it off and the next thing I knew I was in Florida for two days of interviews.

Long story short… we’re packing up the house and moving to Florida for the next chapter of our life. The job is everything I’ve wanted. The location is everything Jenn wanted. It’s a wonderful gift from God.

Though it’s a little heartbreaking to leave the kids and folks at Sheffield, I know that they are in God’s loving hands… and that He will send someone along to replace me that will be so great that they’ll make me look like dirty dish water by comparison.

So, reader. Have you ever changed churches? Do you have any tips? Post them, or any other thoughts, in the comments.

They say the average youth or children’s minister stays in a position about three years. Leaving a ministry position is apparently a common part of our ministry lives. Though I never planned on joining the statistic… my family and I have accepted a position at a church in St. Petersburg, Florida and will be moving from Kansas City in two weeks.

My wife and I have felt for about a year that we’ve been waiting for something but we didn’t know what. Apparently God was preparing our hearts for a transition. Though we weren’t planning to go anywhere, we committed ourselves to prayer and found that God had released us and was calling us elsewhere. I’m pleased to say that we’re leaving on great terms… no drama to report. Our primary reason for the move is to be closer to family. This has become very important to us since we’ve had children.

Once a few years ago, I was going through a pretty dark time in my life. No moral failure or anything like that… I was just “going through” as they say. I was feeling as if I wanted to be done with ministry… that I wanted to leave… to get away from the pressure. I talked to a mentor of mine and he gave me some sound advice that I wanted to share in this context. He asked me to recall when God called me to my current position. I was instantly able to remember that moment. He said, “When it’s time to go, He’ll release you the same way. He called you here… he’ll call you away.” His words really clarified things for me. I realized that leaving wasn’t my choice to make. I remained faithful… and God was good.

So when is it time to leave? When God says. It makes all the difference. On those bad days in ministry sometimes the Call is the only thing that keeps you hanging in there. Knowing that in spite of all of our shortcomings and flaws, that you know that you know that God put you where you are can give us the strength we need to hold on. I’m finding that I need that same assurance as I transition between seasons in ministry. Thank God I have it. I know my future is secure, in spite of all of the unknowns, because we’re following the path that has been laid out for us by our Heavenly Father.

Those of you who may be struggling where you are… I would urge you to remember that moment God called you to be where you are. If you want to leave, ask… but wait for that call to go before you throw in the towel. God still had a lot of work to do on me that would have not been possible if I had left before. If he doesn’t release you it’s because he has unfinished work to do in your life and the lives you minister to. Trust that.

Most of us write up and use pretty basic rules for Children’s Church: Don’t talk, keep your hands to your self, participate, limit bathroom use, blah, blah blah. I’m finding that those just aren’t cutting it these days. There are so many issues that the basic rules just don’t cover. I suggest we add the following to our policies and procedures manuals immediately!

Rules I Wish I Could Use:

For Kids

• You shall not turn your Sunday School papers into airplanes or roll them into weapons.
• If we have drums, you are not allowed to play them. Ever. If you do we will cancel your next birthday.
• Do not groan after my movie video clip illustration is over.
• The answer to every question I ask is not “God”.
• Please thank your parents on our behalf for buying you a cell phone… right after you tell them you lost it.
• Knock, knock jokes are banned for life.
• Understand this: Even though I don’t have your birthday and age memorized… I still love you!
• Please tell your friends we have bibles and coats here at the church… free gifts from all of you who have left yours here.
• Nobody stole your socks.
• Please stay completely still and quiet during worship but move around and talk as much as you want during the sermon.
• Prayer requests are not a chance to tell a story.
• If your grandmother is dead… there’s really no reason to pray for her… again.
• Offering goes in the plate… not in the coke machine after service.
• Please explain to we leaders how you fit all that stuff in that tiny pink purse.
• Keep your dangum shoes on girls!

For Parents

• Parent’s are required to get angry when they arrive late for check-in. We’re only open for an hour after all… only 30 minutes shorter than the service itself… I’d be angry too!
• Parent’s must pick up their children within 15 minutes of the end of service. Those who don’t will have their children given to someone who will raise them properly.
• Deadlines apply to everyone… except you. You’re special.
• Please don’t act like you’re doing us a favor my dropping off your child. It’s not a problem for me… but some of these folks feel a little under appreciated when you act that way.
• By all means, fill up a van full of kids, bring them to church and then refuse to volunteer!
• Offering goes up one dollar for every minute you are late to church.
• Those papers we send home… they’re useful… and not just as replacement floor mats in the minivan.
• I know your kid is perfect… like you… but we still need him to stop stabbing others.
• Thanks for your donation… but the homeless don’t like cans of pepper hulls either.

For Volunteers

• If you’ve been sick since Wednesday, please wait to call in till Saturday night or (even better) Sunday morning just before service. For a bonus, do it via facebook!
• Children’s Ministry is probably not the best place to work off your community service hours.
• You can pass a background check… but if you smell funny, I’m not going to approve you to work with kids. It’s called mercy.
• Volunteers who call in sick for the Super Bowl will have the kids from their abandoned class delivered to their home in time for the game.
• Yes, random church member with an agenda, I’d love to create a class wrapped around your goat farm.
• Please hold all important, drama-filled conversations until right before service starts. Preferably while I’m trying to get PowerPoint to work.
• All scary looking relatives of yours are automatically cleared to sit through kids church. Since you asked me with them standing right there so I couldn’t say no. I’ll be sure to send a couple of mine over to watch you sleep tonight in return.
• If you’re going to read right out of the curriculum, at least hold the book right-side up.

Do you have any of your own rules we should add? Put them in the comments!

Over the last ten years I’ve been in full-time ministry, most of that in children’s ministry, I’ve found myself repeating a few phrases over and over. The title of this post is one of them: “Don’t make permanent changes for temporary situations”.

Though I’ve never had a paid ministry assistant, over the years I have had several volunteer folks who have helped to fill that role. Almost without exception, in the first few months, they would come to me with a situation and a solution… and I would find myself repeating that same phrase. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about, then I’ll explain why it’s not a good idea.

John was one of my newer volunteers but he was a natural and due to his willingness and availability had become someone I relied on quite a bit. After a few months I had placed him as coordinator over our Sunday evening program for elementary. He came to me one night with a situation… our attendance had dropped over the last two weeks. He proposed that we move the entire program to a different set of rooms that were smaller. What he didn’t know or realize was that every year around this time we had the same dip in attendance but always picked back up. He also didn’t know that if we gave up our rooms, other ministries would be glad to make use of them and we’d never get them back. He wanted to fix a temporary situation with a permanent solution.

Here are the hoops my situations have to jump through before I consider a permanent solution:

1. Is it consistent?

Before I make a new policy or a major change I want to make sure it’s not an isolated incident. I’m not going to make a new policy because one child was left late after a program… but if a month of Sunday’s goes by and I’ve got three or four families consistently abusing our workers by picking up super late… I’m going to write up a policy.

2. Is there history I’m not aware of?

For any situation you come across… someone in your church has seen it before and has dealt with it. Typically the Pastor or another staff member who has been there longer knows something you don’t. In my situation with John, he didn’t know how many years we had worked to outgrow the other set of rooms… I wasn’t about go backwards just because of an annual dip in attendance!

3. Am I Acting or Reacting?

Some situations seem bigger than they really are. We all get sick children in our ministries from time to time… but with swine flu running amok, we’re tempted to go nuts and treat every kid with a sniffle like they’ve got the plague. I always want to be sure that I’m not just reacting to the high-pressure of a temporary situation. In the heat of the moment, especially when dramatic people are involved, it can be tempting to start churning out changes and new policies until the storm passes. Making choices based on fear, feelings and self-protection is never a good idea. Sure, you solve the immediate issues, but later you have to deal with the consequences of choices made in haste. Does the situation warrant a huge change? Usually your common sense will serve you better than a policy. Urge your volunteers to look at the big picture. Keep existing policies and procedures in mind and use common sense.

We can easily get drama-happy… where we want to make big deals out of simple issues so that we can feel like we’re doing something important. Drama is not ministry. Ministry is what we do after the drama is quickly and graciously dealt with.

There are differing opinions on the level of excitement and fun that should be used in children’s church. Some would say that it should be filled with video clips, sound effects, games, object lessons and fun. Others would fight against such things by proposing we train children to be able to handle big church by giving them their own version of an adult-like service.

I find myself falling into a different category if you can call it a category at all. I think each church has to decide for itself what atmosphere it provides based on the requirements of their congregation. Even then I don’t believe that you can set the bar and walk away. My own services have changed over the years, going from one extreme at times to the other, based on what my kids needed at the time. Sometimes even within the same service.

I have an unwritten rule that I use to gauge the amount of ‘fun’ I use in my services. I often share this with my kids as a way to improve their behavior if we’re having a ‘full moon’ Sunday. Every week we make a deal:

If you promise to learn, I promise to make it fun.

There are times when fun makes the learning go smoothly. There are other times I have to rein it in in order to get my point across. I find that I have to keep part of my mind on the message… and the other part out there in the crowd. If the one part isn’t receiving what the other part is sending, it’s time to change things up. Right there… on the fly.

Sometimes fun works. Sometimes fun looks serious, like a secret club meeting in the back yard. Sometimes it’s not about fun at all… but about interest in the topic. Mostly it’s about where your kids are and what they need. Here’s the other guideline I heard somewhere:

A child’s experience with the content is as important as the content.

If you can’t get it in their heads somehow, it doesn’t really matter how good of a point your making. I refuse to slot my children’s church into a ‘fun’ or ‘church-like’ category because doing so would limit the methods I need to use to get the Word out. My hope would be that other Children’s Ministers would keep their options open as well. It doesn’t always have to be a playground… or a funeral.

Due to my schedule this week, I’m not on my usual (nearly) daily blogging schedule… but I wanted to just share a little of what I’m experiencing from God right now. My hope is that it will lift you up.

I really feel like God loves me right now.

I always know he does… but we live in a world that makes that fact a little less than obvious sometimes. Knowing God loves me has carried me through a lot of rough times. Trusting and believing that He has my best in mind… that He’s out there watching over me… that He will never leave or forget about me… those things keep me going on and standing as strong as I can. But that being said, it’s nice to have the feeling once in a while too.

I’ve never been very touchy-feely with God. My childhood taught me that you can’t trust your feelings. So I trusted in hard facts about God. That was safe… ultimately I suppose they took less faith to believe in as well, but I digress. I obviously over compensated, as we adults often do, and so rather than the sensible thing, experiencing feelings but not making life changing decisions based on them, I grew to despise them. They were something for weaker Christians… I didn’t need them. I was almost proud of the fact that I didn’t need to FEEL God in order to believe in Him.

But it got lonely.

I feel the love of my wife. My children are both crazy about me… I love the way that makes me feel. Feelings are awesome… so I really wasn’t opposed to them… only when it came to the spiritual side of things. I wish I had more to write down at this point… but now we’re caught up to the current day… and I’m totally blown away with the amount of love that God, my Father, has expressed to my family.

You know how you feel when someone gives you the perfect gift? A gift that shows that shows you how well they know you? It may not even be very expensive… or maybe it’s even handmade… but the sentiment behind the gift makes it priceless. Have you ever cried after opening something at a birthday or Christmas? I have (it was a Buzz Lightyear watch)… but this gift that God is giving to us is so personal, so perfect, so spot-on… it simply blows my mind. It truly feels like a dream. Unreal.

God’s love feels good for a change. It’s nice.

Let’s be honest, sometimes His love hurts. It urges us to grow and go to places we’re not comfortable going. It shines the light of Truth into the dark corners of our souls… places where ugly things hide. It’s not fun being broken and rebuilt for His use. It doesn’t feel good. I guess I thought that’s all there was. Maybe I was just really screwed up and needed a lot of extra work. Maybe I just fought it and hurt myself. Who cares.

God, thank you for your amazing love. I’ve always had it… but thanks for making it feel so good this time. *tears*

How do we deal, as children’s ministers, with a lack of pastoral support?

Resources:

• http://inflateaset.com
• http://kids.woot.com
• My Preaching Video

I’m interested in what you do (or don’t do) for Halloween. So let’s flip the script here today and you tell me something.

What are you doing this year for your kids & community for Halloween?

Leave your responses in the comments.

I’ve written about Children’s Ministry names before, but that was more of a post about the types of names. This time I’m just going to punch out a list of names for Children’s Church right off the top of my head. I cannot confirm or deny if any of these are original or in use somewhere. These are simply offered out of a desire to help those who are searching for Children’s Ministry Names.

Kid Works – A construction or science theme.

InTune – Music or computer theme.

Megaville – City or superhero theme.

JAM City – Jesus And Me, a city theme.

ChurchName Kids – Put your church’s name and add kids to the end. It works.

Xtreme – Extreme sports theme.

Power House – Electricity or explosion themed.

Young Adventures – Explorer themed.

City Kids or Kid City – City themes.

NRG Zone

Power Source

Sonshine Kidz

Kids Life

Sincity – Just checking to see if you’re reading this.

Kids for Christ

Kids Trek

Disciple Ship – Nautical theme.

Volunteer Seekers – Sorry.

Kids Place

Kid Nation

UpStreet

Kidz Zone

Kid Builders

Camp Kingdom

Kid Power

Kid Planet

Action Kids

Big Steps

iKids

180 Crew

KidStyle

Kids in Training

BootCamp

Camp Rock

TNT

Impact

Christ’s Kids

Young Champions

Submitted by @PerryLyons

Kidsmin

KidsChristClass

Kids for Christ

His Little Ones

Christaloneians

Tykes for Christ

FYI – The logo above was done by me for a Children’s Pastor via my website http://drawyouapicture.com. If you need a low-cost children’s ministry logo, check it out.

What do you do when someone you depended on quits Children’s Ministry? Maybe it’s a top level coordinator or just someone who said they would do music for VBS. The job they were going to do doesn’t matter… the fact that you’re not stuck with it, or unable to do the program because of it, is. It can be easy to panic when you get those emails or phone calls. I’ve recently had this happen to me. It changes things, but I’ll adjust and eventually have the same outcome. I guess that’s the point after all.

Here are some tips for dealing with big jobs that get abandoned.

1. Don’t Panic

This is not a choice you can make just after you’re disappointment happens. This is a choice you make today… before anything goes haywire. Are you going to be a person of action… or reaction? I don’t know about you, but I want to be in control of what comes out of my mouth… and though it’s true that no one can tame the tongue… you can control where the tongue is speaking from. If your heart is focused on the One you live to serve, if you realize who is in control, that heart will overflow out of your mouth when the time comes. Make the choice today to not panic.

2. Don’t Burn Bridges

Like Moses said, “Let your people go!”… kinda. You may be angry, hurt, upset, disappointed… but let them go easy! You’re going to have a ton of feelings toward them… none of them will be good ones. None of them will be based on anything other than what you think they’ve done to you. You can’t base decisions on bad thinking. So make your choice now… when they call or email… let them off easy. I always make a point to let them know that the door swings both ways, in a positive sense. They’re welcome back anytime! I can count on two hands the number of volunteers I’ve gotten back because I gave them a guilt free exit.

3. Trust Your Real Source

Both step one and step two rely on step 3 to work. You’ve got to realize where your help comes from. It’s not a volunteer, your spouse or your pastor… not even in yourself. Your help comes from the Lord (creator of Heaven and Earth). Also, it’s HIS ministry, HIS kids, His church, HIS passion and therefore HIS responsibility. Trust that God has a plan to work everything out for your good and HIS glory. Pray to the Lord of the harvest to send you laborers… it’s HIS harvest field… if he wants it harvested, he’ll have to send you folks to help! He does and He will.

4. Think Outside Your Circle

Okay, so the spiritual stuff is good… but what about the help you need? God helps those who help themselves right? Maybe. I prefer to say that we do what we can do and God does what we can’t. If you’re like me, you’ve tapped about just about everyone you know. It may be time to think outside your circle. Pray a bit and ask God to open your mind to someone who may have the right skill set to do what you need done. Ask them directly, letting them know what skills attracted you to them. Offer a limit to their service… say, three months. Tell them they can visit before they commit. If they bite, awesome, if not… keep praying until God delivers.

Trials like this are never fun. They’re one of the more frustrating things you’ll deal with in ministry. But like any struggle, you can just go through it… or you can go through it and have God’s purpose work in you as a result. You’re going to go through it anyway… might as well do it God’s way and get some benefits!

Two different children acting out in two different ways sparked the idea for this post today. One was a 3rd grade boy on our Rangers class… the other was my 1.5 year old son. They both were acting out in ways that were unusual for them… and because it was unusual… grace was given.

My son, or “Dunder” as we call him, was having a rough day yesterday. He was crying uncontrollably any time his Mom walked away from him. He was sensitive, whiny and just all around bad… but in a weird way. Just when we were about to pack him in a box and ship him away we theorized that he may be teething and gave him some baby Tylenol. His behavior improved within the hour. The boy was in pain apparently.

Later that evening at our Wednesday church services I was brought a couple of young men who had exchanged blows while picking up the game room for pre-class worship time. I listened to the excuses and issued my standards. I told them I’d be talking to their parents and that I wanted to be able to tell them that the boys had been good the rest of the evening. I told them to sit separately and go back into worship. One of the two was crying uncontrollably the entire time… which was unlike him… but I figured he was just upset I was talking to his parents.

Later that evening I got a call from his teacher. He was causing problems in class and was refusing to sit in time out. I was ready to put the fear of God in this kid. I was going to lay down the law and be absolutely sure he knew that he could not act this way in class and expect to get away with it. I was going to call the parents out from church… and possibly read them the riot act as well.

I had the child meet me out in the hall with the teacher… I felt my heart soften toward the boy. Kids who cause two sets of problems in same night, who don’t do it every week, are probably going through something. I asked him what the trouble was tonight. He looked to the ground and said that he hadn’t slept well the night before. I now noticed how red his eyes were. The boy was exhausted! No wonder he was acting out.

All of my plans flew out the window… grace for his situation came in it’s place. I told him that even when he’s sleepy he needs to make good choices. That while I was still going to talk to his parents, I didn’t want to add to it that he wasn’t obeying his teachers. I told him that he would go back into class and service his time… but that he could lay his head on the table for the rest of class if he wished to rest.

I tend to be a person who sticks tightly to the rules and policies… and this serves me well most of the time. But I always run the risk of doing so blindly, with little consideration to the people involved. My prayer is that God will help me and those like me to always be ready to forget what they deserve and be ready to give the grace that He has shown me so often.

I believe in cutting my Sunday Children’s Church Service into segments of no more than 10-15 minutes each. One of the ways I do that is by sticking one or two games in to the mix. My games are not just distractions… I use them as an excuse to reiterate the main point of the service. In other words, my games are quick, simple, and themed.

Quick

No matter what our game is we only play it for 60 seconds. My game person chooses the children in advance during the service (watching to see who is being good and choosing at random from that group) and let’s them know when to come up and how to play. When she gets on stage, she calls up the kids she’s already chosen, briefly explains what’s about to happen to the crowd (the gamers already know) and then it’s Mark, Set, GO! Sixty seconds later the game is over, a point is made and prizes and points are given. Then it’s on to the next segment.

Simple

Almost every single one of our stage games follows this formula: “How many (or much) ___________ can you ___________ in 60 seconds?”

This formula helps us keep games simple and quick. Here are some examples of games we’ve done this way:

• How many cotton balls can you collect…
• How many Frisbee’s can you toss through a hoop…
• How much soda can you drink…
• How many puzzle pieces can you put together…
• How many Lego’s can you stack…

Even when we don’t stick to the formula, we still keep it simple and quick.

Themed

There is no reason games should be ‘burn time’ where the kids aren’t learning. It’s simple enough to theme the games after something in the lesson or Bible story. For instance, the cotton ball game above could be used when talking about Manna. Frisbee tosses are for talking about sin and missing the target. Putting puzzles together are good for illustrating how God heals broken hearts. We’ve stacked Lego’s when we’ve talked about God being a strong tower.

The game’s theme isn’t going to be obvious unless your game leader points it out. We typically do this before and after the game. It goes something like this, “Since we’re talking about Manna today, we’re going to practice picking up a bit of Manna ourselves!” Then after the game, “You guys and girls did great picking up that Manna! This game reminds me that God will always provide what we need the same way God provided for His people in the wilderness.”

What stage game tips do you have? Leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.

What’s in a name? For some people, quite a bit, especially when it comes to their children’s ministry. Some consider the selection of the name to be on the same level as their mission statement. Some go for something that sounds super fun. Still others keep it simple and pattern their name after the Big Church’s name. No matter where you fall, a name for your children’s ministry or children’s church is an important decision. Let’s look at the different kinds of names.

The Acrostic

Though this style of name has lost some of it’s popularity, giving meaning to every letter in a particular word is still a popular choice. I recently saw a Nursery called F.R.O.G.s which meant that they were Fully Relying On God. Maybe a bit much for babies to achieve (or is it)… but all the same… that’s what they went with.

My own children’s church uses a version of this. JAM City is a place where Jesus And Me get together. It’s far from a mission statement… but it clarifies each week why we come to church.

The only downside of this is sometimes trying to find meaningful words for each letter can be limiting. I’ve seen some pretty strange things come of trying to make something fit in just the right way. Just be sure not to compromise your mission or message because of a name limitation.

The Spiritual Name

Personally, these are my least favorite types of kids church names. This is mostly due to my spiritual background… most of the churches I went to were long on charisma and short on real spiritual depth. So disregard my opinion if this is your cup of tea. To those going with this style of name, I would urge them to keep the balance between the spiritual depth and the fun of learning. A child’s experience with your message is just as important as the message. If we do not make the message attractive, applicable and yes, fun… they will typically not receive the message in the first place. So go with Spiritual Warriors of God if you want… just make being a Spiritual Warrior is practical and fun.

The Theme Name

For many ministers, their name determines their theme. Unless you’re tied to your theme… you need to be careful. My own kids church name is guilty of this. JAM City dictates that our theme will always be a city, but I’m good with this. I’ve used it for 8 years now and have found the city theme to be very flexible. City’s can have parades, celebrations, conflicts, new construction, fairs, struggles, storms and just about anything you can imagine.

I’ve seen ministries named after Movie Studios, Jungles, Water or Oceans, Space and even Power Companies. With these types of names, I’m a fan of restricting it to just the children’s church. The Children’s Ministry, on the other hand, can have a different name that is broad and can include all of the ministries of the department.

The Practical Name

For some churches, simple is better. They like names that simply give it to you straight. Names like Kids Church (sometimes with a ‘z’) or Children’s Church. It may not be very creative… but it gets the point across. There’s no question what the ministry is about.

I’m a fan of using the practical name in publications for visitors and on the church website. Visitors will not know what PowerSource is… is it a healing service, youth service, single’s ministry or what? So I always lead with Children’s Church… then put the ministry name in the description.

The Church Name

Sometimes you’ll see the church’s name or theme as the driving force behind a name selection. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) is a perfectly acceptable name. I know of a youth ministry from a church with a water-type name… so their youth group is called Surge with a huge wave as their logo. These types of names are great because they have a built-in connection to the church and yet allow for limitless themes and such. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) can have a sub-title that introduces the theme of the year (or eon).

Choosing a name is an important step… but personally there is no best style of name. Whatever works for your church is the best. If you see a name you like that’s already in use… and it’s not copyrighted… use it! I know for a fact we’re not the only JAM City out there. The important thing to remember is that a name is just a title. It is not an edge or an advantage. It will not guarantee success. That’s not a title’s job. Your ministry will define the title… not the other way around.

Any children’s minister with policies will eventually have one of those policies ignored or transgressed against. Calling a volunteer to ask over it is never fun or easy. Correcting one of our kids is easy. Correcting an adult, even better an adult that is older than ourselves, can be downright awkward or even embarrassing for everyone involved.

Over the years I’ve have to call plenty of volunteers to the carpet. Most have been more than willing to be corrected and move forward but once in a while it turns into a fiasco. Sometimes because of the personality of the volunteer… and sometimes because I go into the meeting half prepared.

Here are some things I need to remember for next time.

1. Do not operate on assumptions or rumors.

Assume the best about the person. Better to be proven wrong than to treat them poorly because of misinformation.

2. Keep focused on one goal at a time. One correction per meeting.

You may have a lot of things to cover… but if you throw to much at them they’ll think you hate them. The people are more important than the policy.

3. Write an agenda. Stick to it.

Write up what your goal is and work your way back from there. Each bullet is a correction. Sprinkle it with compliments.

4. Make sure your goal is to improve the minister not just the ministry.

Your real goal will come through in your conversation. If it’s pure, it will cover a multitude of mistakes.

5. Understand there is the Truth, your perception of the truth and their perception of the truth.

Assume they have a different view of the subject than you. Listen. Try to understand.

6. Pray.

Before, during, after. It helps everything.

7. Follow up after.

Even just a text full of praise and thanks for the volunteer’s willingness to change can help put out the fires that often spring up after a meeting.

This is great! Enjoy!

I have a Marriage & Family podcast/blog/webcomic over at GeekLovesNerd.com. I do (almost) daily writings on issues that matter to married couples, parents and to those hoping to be in a marriage some day. It’s fun.

I wanted to share a series I’m doing on Proper Discipline. It’s basically the same stuff you can get from the Proper Discipline Audio Series I did here on CMMonthly a while back… but in print format… and for parents rather than the classroom.

I’d love your input and feedback!

Proper Discipline [via Geek Loves Nerd]

You often see articles on how to avoid burnout in ministry… but what about when it sneaks up on you? How can you get out of the hole of despair your in? Below I’ve listed some things that help me when the well doing makes me weary.

5. Time Away – but not necessarily

Taking time off if you haven’t had a break can be a great way to recharge… but not always. Sometimes taking a break can be like running away. If you don’t do things to recharge in your time away, you’ll end up coming back right into the same situations as ill prepared as you were before.

4. Act Your Way Into Feelings

I’m not talking about faking a good mood… though we’ve all been there. That would be an attempt to feeling your way into actions… which is killer. Acting your way into feelings means that you get up, get out there and keep on trucking. If you can’t do everything you’re supposed to do, do what you can do. Give God room to move in your ministry life by continuing to do as much of it as you can. The rest of the steps depend on this.

3. Change Things Up

Most of the time we’re not burned out on ministry as a whole… we’re just burned out on parts of it. It may be time for a change in those areas. I’m a fan of giving away parts of the ministry that grind my nerves away to those who are especially gifted at it. Even if you don’t delegate everything… doing it differently can be just the thing to renew your interest and passion.

2. Ask For Help

We get burned out when we try to do more than we can handle. Sure, there are things God has called us to do that may be beyond us and all… but His yoke is easy and all that. I’m talking about when we take on to much and try to do it all ourselves. It’s time to delegate. Don’t know how? Try asking yourself, “Who would take my place if I were sick this Sunday?” and go from there. You don’t have to give everything away… just the parts that anyone else can do.

1. Pray Through

As a child I would hear people talk about ‘praying through’. I didn’t understand it then… but I sure do now. Praying through, for me anyway, is praying until my attitude changes. Literally bugging God until He helps me through. Typically for me it means Him humbling me and realizing it was some sort of independent pride that got me where I was in the first place. Along with seeking energy, attitude adjustments and such, you might also ask for creativity… or if you’re season has changed. God loves you more than the ministry you provide. He knows that you minister out of your overflow… and He will fill you if you wait on Him.

5. Remember their name.

For me, this is a huge problem. I’m terrible with names across the board. I carry my drivers license so I can prove who I am… to myself. Nametags are great… but learning the names of your kids (other than the ‘bad’ ones) is huge. Remembering them after their out of children’s ministry is even better.

4. Tell on them to their parents when they’ve been extra good.

Sometimes in the chaos of a Sunday good behavior can be taken for granted. The last thing we want is our parents to start rolling their eyes when we approach them. Start telling on your kids when they’ve been caught being good. It’ll help you stay positive and the kids will love you for it.

3. Eat lunch with them at school and meet their Teacher(s).

With permission from a parent or guardian I have never had a problem getting in to eat lunch with one of my kids. I usually show up a bit early so I can meet the Teacher, see the classroom and most importantly, their own desk. This is especially good for your ‘bad’ kids. You might be surprised how good they are in school… or how they’ve improved since Kindergarten.

2. Get yourself invited to eat dinner at their home.

This is easy. Just ask the kids to bug their parents. You’ll get invites! It’s an excellent way to get into a family’s life. Have mom and the child give you a tour of the home and see the kid’s room. Remember a few things and mention them from the stage the next week. Watch their face.

1. Call them on their birthday.

A postcard is great… but a phone call on the day (or even the week) of their birthday has a greater effect on children and families than any other single thing I have ever done. If you have a small group, you’re probably looking at 2-6 calls a month. Put them in your planner and remember to check. Make weekend calls on Friday. Make Sunday calls in person with hug.

Last night was a trying evening for me. Most of the parents we serve a awesome, grateful and accommodating… but the mom I dealt with last night was none of those. I don’t know what got to me most… her behavior or the way I responded to it.

In a nutshell, she had three children. One was nursery age. The Nursery was full so she tried to sneak her newly-turned three year old into an older class without checking in. I stepped in and corrected the situation. Mom was angry and started talking trash.

Here are some things I learned that will help me deal with this type of person in the future.

1. You can’t reason with them.

They know what they want. They want to be rid of their child. This type of person wouldn’t care if they were dropping their child off at a homeless shelter… they just want what they want. Don’t waste your time trying to appease them if you can’t give them what they want. Just like a troll on a forum, it just gives them more of a platform to spew anger.

2. Trust your policies and procedures.

These folks will lie… they will tell you their way had been done before… that everything was fine last time… that you told them such-in-such. Though you’ll want to believe them… trust your people. Trust that they followed the policies and procedures until you’ve spoken to them and learned otherwise. Do not assume your volunteers have disregarded everything you’ve taught them just because one person says differently.

3. You can’t serve everyone.

I have a huge heart for people. I hate it when I’m put in the place of looking like a bad guy… but that’s not my role unless someone is behaving in a way that forces me to squash that behavior. My ministry has the potential of being a great resource and help to families… but if someone is unwilling to follow simple, basic policies… they are rejecting all of that. The part that kills me is that they don’t even know what they’re missing. I understand that people have issues… but Children’s ministry functions within a set of rules. Those rules are not just for fun… they’re for the protection of the folks we’re ministering to… and those who are ministering. When we have someone who can’t do the basics of following procedure… well, there are plenty of churches out there who have more heart than sense… they can go to church there.

4. Did they have a point?

After all of the drama and bad behavior I still need to ask myself… Did they have a point? Was there something we missed? If I don’t ask that question and attempt to answer it seriously, I risk being a ministry who believes they have ‘arrived’. We always have room to grow and improve. In this case I realized that if we’d simply had enough workers in the Nursery, there would have been no issue at all. I understand at least part of the frustration my parent felt.

What would you add to this list? Share you insights in the comments.