What do you do when someone you depended on quits Children’s Ministry? Maybe it’s a top level coordinator or just someone who said they would do music for VBS. The job they were going to do doesn’t matter… the fact that you’re not stuck with it, or unable to do the program because of it, is. It can be easy to panic when you get those emails or phone calls. I’ve recently had this happen to me. It changes things, but I’ll adjust and eventually have the same outcome. I guess that’s the point after all.

Here are some tips for dealing with big jobs that get abandoned.

1. Don’t Panic

This is not a choice you can make just after you’re disappointment happens. This is a choice you make today… before anything goes haywire. Are you going to be a person of action… or reaction? I don’t know about you, but I want to be in control of what comes out of my mouth… and though it’s true that no one can tame the tongue… you can control where the tongue is speaking from. If your heart is focused on the One you live to serve, if you realize who is in control, that heart will overflow out of your mouth when the time comes. Make the choice today to not panic.

2. Don’t Burn Bridges

Like Moses said, “Let your people go!”… kinda. You may be angry, hurt, upset, disappointed… but let them go easy! You’re going to have a ton of feelings toward them… none of them will be good ones. None of them will be based on anything other than what you think they’ve done to you. You can’t base decisions on bad thinking. So make your choice now… when they call or email… let them off easy. I always make a point to let them know that the door swings both ways, in a positive sense. They’re welcome back anytime! I can count on two hands the number of volunteers I’ve gotten back because I gave them a guilt free exit.

3. Trust Your Real Source

Both step one and step two rely on step 3 to work. You’ve got to realize where your help comes from. It’s not a volunteer, your spouse or your pastor… not even in yourself. Your help comes from the Lord (creator of Heaven and Earth). Also, it’s HIS ministry, HIS kids, His church, HIS passion and therefore HIS responsibility. Trust that God has a plan to work everything out for your good and HIS glory. Pray to the Lord of the harvest to send you laborers… it’s HIS harvest field… if he wants it harvested, he’ll have to send you folks to help! He does and He will.

4. Think Outside Your Circle

Okay, so the spiritual stuff is good… but what about the help you need? God helps those who help themselves right? Maybe. I prefer to say that we do what we can do and God does what we can’t. If you’re like me, you’ve tapped about just about everyone you know. It may be time to think outside your circle. Pray a bit and ask God to open your mind to someone who may have the right skill set to do what you need done. Ask them directly, letting them know what skills attracted you to them. Offer a limit to their service… say, three months. Tell them they can visit before they commit. If they bite, awesome, if not… keep praying until God delivers.

Trials like this are never fun. They’re one of the more frustrating things you’ll deal with in ministry. But like any struggle, you can just go through it… or you can go through it and have God’s purpose work in you as a result. You’re going to go through it anyway… might as well do it God’s way and get some benefits!

I believe in cutting my Sunday Children’s Church Service into segments of no more than 10-15 minutes each. One of the ways I do that is by sticking one or two games in to the mix. My games are not just distractions… I use them as an excuse to reiterate the main point of the service. In other words, my games are quick, simple, and themed.

Quick

No matter what our game is we only play it for 60 seconds. My game person chooses the children in advance during the service (watching to see who is being good and choosing at random from that group) and let’s them know when to come up and how to play. When she gets on stage, she calls up the kids she’s already chosen, briefly explains what’s about to happen to the crowd (the gamers already know) and then it’s Mark, Set, GO! Sixty seconds later the game is over, a point is made and prizes and points are given. Then it’s on to the next segment.

Simple

Almost every single one of our stage games follows this formula: “How many (or much) ___________ can you ___________ in 60 seconds?”

This formula helps us keep games simple and quick. Here are some examples of games we’ve done this way:

• How many cotton balls can you collect…
• How many Frisbee’s can you toss through a hoop…
• How much soda can you drink…
• How many puzzle pieces can you put together…
• How many Lego’s can you stack…

Even when we don’t stick to the formula, we still keep it simple and quick.

Themed

There is no reason games should be ‘burn time’ where the kids aren’t learning. It’s simple enough to theme the games after something in the lesson or Bible story. For instance, the cotton ball game above could be used when talking about Manna. Frisbee tosses are for talking about sin and missing the target. Putting puzzles together are good for illustrating how God heals broken hearts. We’ve stacked Lego’s when we’ve talked about God being a strong tower.

The game’s theme isn’t going to be obvious unless your game leader points it out. We typically do this before and after the game. It goes something like this, “Since we’re talking about Manna today, we’re going to practice picking up a bit of Manna ourselves!” Then after the game, “You guys and girls did great picking up that Manna! This game reminds me that God will always provide what we need the same way God provided for His people in the wilderness.”

What stage game tips do you have? Leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.

Any children’s minister with policies will eventually have one of those policies ignored or transgressed against. Calling a volunteer to ask over it is never fun or easy. Correcting one of our kids is easy. Correcting an adult, even better an adult that is older than ourselves, can be downright awkward or even embarrassing for everyone involved.

Over the years I’ve have to call plenty of volunteers to the carpet. Most have been more than willing to be corrected and move forward but once in a while it turns into a fiasco. Sometimes because of the personality of the volunteer… and sometimes because I go into the meeting half prepared.

Here are some things I need to remember for next time.

1. Do not operate on assumptions or rumors.

Assume the best about the person. Better to be proven wrong than to treat them poorly because of misinformation.

2. Keep focused on one goal at a time. One correction per meeting.

You may have a lot of things to cover… but if you throw to much at them they’ll think you hate them. The people are more important than the policy.

3. Write an agenda. Stick to it.

Write up what your goal is and work your way back from there. Each bullet is a correction. Sprinkle it with compliments.

4. Make sure your goal is to improve the minister not just the ministry.

Your real goal will come through in your conversation. If it’s pure, it will cover a multitude of mistakes.

5. Understand there is the Truth, your perception of the truth and their perception of the truth.

Assume they have a different view of the subject than you. Listen. Try to understand.

6. Pray.

Before, during, after. It helps everything.

7. Follow up after.

Even just a text full of praise and thanks for the volunteer’s willingness to change can help put out the fires that often spring up after a meeting.

You often see articles on how to avoid burnout in ministry… but what about when it sneaks up on you? How can you get out of the hole of despair your in? Below I’ve listed some things that help me when the well doing makes me weary.

5. Time Away – but not necessarily

Taking time off if you haven’t had a break can be a great way to recharge… but not always. Sometimes taking a break can be like running away. If you don’t do things to recharge in your time away, you’ll end up coming back right into the same situations as ill prepared as you were before.

4. Act Your Way Into Feelings

I’m not talking about faking a good mood… though we’ve all been there. That would be an attempt to feeling your way into actions… which is killer. Acting your way into feelings means that you get up, get out there and keep on trucking. If you can’t do everything you’re supposed to do, do what you can do. Give God room to move in your ministry life by continuing to do as much of it as you can. The rest of the steps depend on this.

3. Change Things Up

Most of the time we’re not burned out on ministry as a whole… we’re just burned out on parts of it. It may be time for a change in those areas. I’m a fan of giving away parts of the ministry that grind my nerves away to those who are especially gifted at it. Even if you don’t delegate everything… doing it differently can be just the thing to renew your interest and passion.

2. Ask For Help

We get burned out when we try to do more than we can handle. Sure, there are things God has called us to do that may be beyond us and all… but His yoke is easy and all that. I’m talking about when we take on to much and try to do it all ourselves. It’s time to delegate. Don’t know how? Try asking yourself, “Who would take my place if I were sick this Sunday?” and go from there. You don’t have to give everything away… just the parts that anyone else can do.

1. Pray Through

As a child I would hear people talk about ‘praying through’. I didn’t understand it then… but I sure do now. Praying through, for me anyway, is praying until my attitude changes. Literally bugging God until He helps me through. Typically for me it means Him humbling me and realizing it was some sort of independent pride that got me where I was in the first place. Along with seeking energy, attitude adjustments and such, you might also ask for creativity… or if you’re season has changed. God loves you more than the ministry you provide. He knows that you minister out of your overflow… and He will fill you if you wait on Him.

5. Remember their name.

For me, this is a huge problem. I’m terrible with names across the board. I carry my drivers license so I can prove who I am… to myself. Nametags are great… but learning the names of your kids (other than the ‘bad’ ones) is huge. Remembering them after their out of children’s ministry is even better.

4. Tell on them to their parents when they’ve been extra good.

Sometimes in the chaos of a Sunday good behavior can be taken for granted. The last thing we want is our parents to start rolling their eyes when we approach them. Start telling on your kids when they’ve been caught being good. It’ll help you stay positive and the kids will love you for it.

3. Eat lunch with them at school and meet their Teacher(s).

With permission from a parent or guardian I have never had a problem getting in to eat lunch with one of my kids. I usually show up a bit early so I can meet the Teacher, see the classroom and most importantly, their own desk. This is especially good for your ‘bad’ kids. You might be surprised how good they are in school… or how they’ve improved since Kindergarten.

2. Get yourself invited to eat dinner at their home.

This is easy. Just ask the kids to bug their parents. You’ll get invites! It’s an excellent way to get into a family’s life. Have mom and the child give you a tour of the home and see the kid’s room. Remember a few things and mention them from the stage the next week. Watch their face.

1. Call them on their birthday.

A postcard is great… but a phone call on the day (or even the week) of their birthday has a greater effect on children and families than any other single thing I have ever done. If you have a small group, you’re probably looking at 2-6 calls a month. Put them in your planner and remember to check. Make weekend calls on Friday. Make Sunday calls in person with hug.

When did children’s ministry become all about Leadership? Though I think that message appeals to the white-color, Starbucks-sipping, Mac toting children’s pastors (an observation, not a judgment)… I think the latest trend in children’s ministry is all but lost on a majority of the folks actually doing the ministry.

Most children’s ministers are unpaid untrained volunteers who have a lot of passion and ability but not a lot of ideas, support or resources. They also don’t have a budget. I think this is why the CM gurus have ignored the real need… there’s no money in it. I don’t see a lot of curriculum being created and marketed to the Inner City for instance.

The mother of 3 doing children’s ministry in the basement of the church with her husband doing puppets doesn’t need to know about leadership, time-management and budgeting. She needs to know how to create object lessons, how to discipline properly, how to stay motivated, how to work with nothing and turn it into spiritual growth in a child’s life.

My hope is that a movement will rise up. A community of mid-small church children’s ministers who are Kingdom minded enough to share what they’ve learned, what they have, what has kept them afloat. A group of folks who aren’t comparing numbers or conference appearances but may have accidently mastered some aspect of their ministry and would love to share it with the rest of us.

As MJ said… we’ve got to start with the man in the mirror… so here goes. If there is anything I can help anyone with… anything I have learned… anything I can give (that is mine to give)… please let me know. That is the goal of this site and podcast after all. To target the forgotten.

My charge to all of us: Forget about being popular. Be important.

Yesterday’s post dealt with screwing up your legacy. I spoke of a message God had given on the way to the car. This post continues that event.

I sat in my car going through all of the things I needed to stop complaining about. There was a huge list. The truth is our church is a very hard church to serve. It’s just the truth. A slide show of situations and issues flipped through my mind. Volunteers. Parents. Finances. Inequity. Drama. Politics. Failures. Disappointments. Mistakes. Broken Hearts. Things the church had done to me… things I had done to the church.

God said, “Yeah, but this is what I’ve called you to… can you do it?”

That meant to much to me.

1. He knew it was a tough job. It helped so much to have his understanding.
2. It gave purpose to the drama. God had called me to help with it.
3. He had called ME. He hadn’t been able to call some folks… apparently I was the man for the job.

I think God’s word to me is a word to us all… to those in ministry, to those in the workplace or who work to make a home. God called you! You are unique, able, enabled, and specifically gifted for the role He has given you to play.

Your church may be a world of drama. It may be the best thing in the world. The easiest place to work or not… but wherever it is… that’s what God called you to. There is a whole heap of energy in that.

About three years ago I was in prayer and God finally spoke to me. Some people have God speak to them all the time… not me. I’ve never heard him audibly… and that really used to bother me. God typically just drops answers or thoughts into my mind. Thoughts that make so much sense I know they didn’t come from me. But that moment three years ago was different. Though He wasn’t audible, the voice in my mind was clear.

“Outlive this,” was all He said.

I had been praying because I was seeing some pretty tough times coming on the horizon in my job and home life. They issues were taking a toll on my job performance, attitude, patience and spirituality. I had been praying for guidance, answers, help of just about any kind… and all I got was two words. Outlive this.

Though I’ve since had more thoughts and impressions that I know were from God since that moment… no matter how I pray, I haven’t gotten anything more out of our Father. No matter the circumstances, I always just come back to the last thing He told me.

I’ve given this short statement a lot of thought over the years. Like a Rodeo Rider riding bareback it has become a handle for me to hold onto. Here’s what I’ve pulled from it. I hope it will be of comfort to someone out there.

“Outlive This” means a few things to me:

1. He didn’t say ‘Survive This’.

There is a huge difference between surviving something and outliving it. You can barely be alive and still say your survived. You can be totally torn to shreds and still be a survivor. That’s not what God wanted from me. He wanted me to be alive after it was all over. He didn’t want me to just get through it… but rather to learn to thrive in the midst of the complexities of my life.

2. If I was outliving something, it meant there would be an end.

The word ‘outlive’ denotes that whatever you’re outliving will die before you do. That word gave me so much hope. Yes, I was expected to thrive in adversity… but that adversity had an expiration date. It was eventually going to die… and I would still be alive… and in theory better for it. It was like God ran to the end of the tunnel and installed a little light for me. This wasn’t an open ended issue. There would be a conclusion… and I would be alive after it.

3. There was a purpose for the drama.

God knew it was coming. He gave me a handle to hold on to. He wanted me alive on the other end. There was an end in sight (though I didn’t know when it was coming). So therefore there was a plan an a purpose for this mess. What do they say? What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Yeah, it was something like that.

I feel that I’m approaching the end of the challenging season… yet feel another one coming on. It has been the worst yet best period of my life. I can’t say I passed it with flying colors… but I have turned out better than I was going in… and by better I mean I have learned to rely on God more than ever and realized how fragile and stupid my own thinking, meddling and attempts to control things are. I’ve moved from faith into trust with God. It’s a much better place to be.

I hope this speaks to someone.

Most of these resources you’ve probably heard of or maybe even use yourself but just in case you haven’t… here are a few online resources I use in Children’s Ministry every week.

Bible Gateway

Link: http://www.biblegateway.com

Description: Online bible with verse lookup, keyword search, topical search and multiple versions.

How I Use: I use it while on the phone to quickly find verses for specific needs or questions. During service prep it’s helpful to find the easiest to understand version of a particular verse. I also find reading a passage in multiple versions helps in my own understanding since I don’t do the Greek and Hebrew thang.

Animation Factory

Link: http://www.animationfactory.com

Description: Low-cost animated clipart, video backgrounds and PowerPoint backgrounds. The cheapest resource for full-motion animated video backgrounds online anywhere.

How I Use: This is where I get video backgrounds for the song videos we make in-house. The animated clipart also comes in handy for Jump Videos and such.

Google Images

Link: http://images.google.com/

Description: Search images that are available online (but be careful what you search for!).

How I Use: I use Google Images almost daily to find pictures to help illustrate sermon points, find photos of bible characters, images of real settings in the Holy Land. It’s also how I find images for posts on this website.

Google Docs

Link: http://docs.google.com/

Description: Online document editing and sharing suite.

How I Use: You can not only create Word-like documents online, you can share them with volunteers. If I’m working on a service with a lot of input from key volunteers, I’ll share the document with them and allow them to fill in their own service segments for review. You can also create online spreadsheets. We use one to track BGMC giving and it is shared between myself and the BGMC coordinator. I also use it to put together show notes for the CMMonthly podcasts and share it with Super Dave so he can add his own thoughts.

Gmail

Link: http://mail.google.com

Description: In my opinion the best email service on earth. Gmail is free to use and has powerful features including my favorite feature, message threading (groups emails by individual conversations).

How I Use: I’ve been using Gmail for years now. My first email dates 10/04/2004. It is the best way to stay connected to your email from any computer (or cell phone) anywhere in the world. I use it to keep my contacts organized. You can label them and group them as needed. You don’t actually have to delete your emails, you Archive them. Gmail then allows you to quickly search through your archive for any word or phrase in any part of your email, not just the subject. This has come in very handy in the past when I need to confirm sent emails or facts discussed via email from the past.

I also have 6 different Gmail accounts that are able to be funneled into my main account. When I reply, it does so as if I was logged into that particular account. This is an excellent way to keep your emails organized since I know what the topic is based off which email it was sent to (one email for each podcast, one for graphic design projects, a personal email for church and friends).

Google Groups

Link: http://groups.google.com

Description: Free email groups with extra features.

How I Use: I use Google Groups constantly. I have a separate group set up for each of my ministries as well as a master group containing every email in my department. Not only can I send out emails to everyone in a particular ministry, members of that group can also email one another. When they do, the email goes out to the entire group. So it’s like having a conversation in a room of people… but online and through email.

If I send out an announcement, and one person has a question, the question goes out to everyone in the group. I or others can answer, and the answer goes out to the entire group as well. It saves me from having to answer the same question again and again. It also allows my top-level leaders to have the same access to their workers that I do. Groups especially comes in handy when there’s a cancelation or other last minute announcement that needs to go out quickly.

One of my ministries has a separate group set up just for the parents of the children in their groups. They use it for announcements and discussions.

What do you use online?

I shared my stuff! Please share your online resources in the comments!

About 5 years ago I was not a delegator. I felt that everything to do with the main children’s service on Sunday morning had to be created, developed and delivered by me alone. That’s what they were paying me to do. I was the children’s pastor. I was doing okay.

Then came a new volunteer that I quickly gained a lot of respect for named John. He had been the son of a well-known pastor and was trying to rise into ministry on his own without relying on his father’s name. I respect that kind of thing. After a few months I asked him what he thought of the service. He said something that rocked my world forever…

“The Pastor James Show was awesome!”

I doubt he even realized how much he was saying. Not only was he pointing out that I was doing everything on stage… it suddenly sounded very prideful and self-centered. That wasn’t my heart… but as I thought and prayed through, God showed me that pride was most defiantly an element.

I almost immediately started sharing portions of my service with my volunteers. I had someone else start leading worship. I appointed a game leader. I started asking folks to come in a little early to set up the room in 15 minutes rather than the 2 hours it was taking my wife and I to do it the night before alone. I quickly realized something…

My ministry had been limited by how much I was doing.

How jacked up is that! I was working harder than ever… but because I was doing it alone… I was limiting how effective my ministry was. As I delegated more and more I found that I had more time to focus on things I didn’t even realize I wasn’t doing. Things like building relationships with parents for example. Updating policies and procedures for another.

Thinking I was the only one who could do it right was Pride.

The Pastor James Show wasn’t about the kids… it wasn’t so much about God… it was about Pastor James. I didn’t intend for that to be the case… but when people looked up there… that’s who was shining bright… me. When I started giving stuff away, and helping others become the better and better I realized something… If you succeed more than I would in my ministry… I still win. Wins don’t only come 1st hand… they come when people you disciple and developed win as well.

Doing everything means I was focused on nothing.

I wasn’t being a children’s pastor… I was being a worship leader, puppet master, stage manager, sound and video director, security coordinator, disciplinarian, game leader and more. My job was supposed to be to bring the Word… but it was only after I let go of so much that I realized how little I was actually developing a real and genuine message from God to his children. I was more focused on schedules, props, time management and such than I was on rightly dividing the Word of God. That has defiantly changed as a result of delegating.

All of the benefits didn’t happen overnight. Giving away pieces of your job isn’t easy at first… it’s actually a lot harder than doing it yourself for a time. That’s why most folks don’t bother… but we’ll talk more about that tomorrow.

This month we focus on the reasons Children’s Ministers struggle in ministry and ways to avoid burnout. Plus, a very special interview with Fel Bagunu.

Broght to you by DrawYouAPicture.com and High Voltage Kids Resources.